So much is written about bonding or connecting with your horse. The one thing that it is not is a commercial exercise that can be bought or forced. Each person’s bond with their horse will be different and personal. Each bond you may have with a horse will be different.
It is a common misconception that you bond with your horse by working them or engaging in specific exercises. Desensitisation or learning tricks is not a bond. The horse just wants to be and has no side or agenda other than to live in the moment. The time we spend being, listening and doing nothing with our horse is when a bond can start to develop. Sadly, it is human nature to pursue goals, plans and hang onto past memories, all of which cloud our ability to let the horse come to us. Quiet observation and awareness are the key tools that allow the horse to express himself and let us into their space. Our needs and demands on the horse often result in the horse not wanting to connect with us. We should take a step back and allow the Horse to give to us rather than take for our own gratification.
Grooming, petting and even the way we carry out our daily chores around the horse can be invasive to the horse. We have all experienced unwelcome contact or interaction with others but we have the choice to walk away. The horse is often not given that choice and must obey. A bond with a horse is not a master and servant relationship but a symbiotic state of being.It is a stillness and sense of peace being together.
Horses by nature are inquisitive, honest, playful and expressive. Their language is subtle but so many times we are caught up in our own lives that we fail to notice when the horse invites us into their space. A bond with a horse can takes months or even years and often it is our lack of time and patience that prevents a true connection. The bond may well change over time as you journey together and most importantly it is fragile. Horses don’t rationalise and live in the moment. Every moment we are with our Horse they read us and know whether we are authentic and there for them. That is how they survive and despite our domestication they still retain their natural instincts but often those instincts go unnoticed and we force the response we want.
So, take your time. It’s not what you do around your horse or ask of them but what you don’t do. Let them invite you in and take your demands away. When your horse gives to you without asking, then you know that you are on the right track. Just let it happen by sharing time in an undemanding way. Finally, if a bond doesn’t happen right away or even at all don’t worry as it doesn’t mean you can’t have a relationship with your Horse.
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